Meditation.

Last night.. I haven't been woken up from that vivid of a nightmare in awhile.. It was as if someone had physically slapped me awake.. granted, I'd had a headache the entire day before it, but it was more intense when I woke up.. and my cheek hurt. I can't for the life of me remember the dream, but still.. having physical affects from a dream make me wonder what the hell I was dreaming of..

I can't seem to distract myself today. Sleep was definitely not an option. Regardless of how much television I watch or how many times I try to meditate, I can't get into it. I'm restless. I can't read. The sad part is, I don't even feel the urge to go for a walk. About to try yoga. It's been awhile, let's hope I remember how to not twist myself into a pretzel. =P

There's this Sky & Earth Grounding Meditation I've been wanting to try.. but sadly, I think someone would interrupt if I were to see me sitting outside on the ground surrounded by lit candles listening to celtic music. And interruptions would be a big pain in the ass, considering it'd fuck up the whole trying to achieve a sense of calm thing. So, I'll have to save that one for the next time I visit my hometown. Then I'd be in the middle of nowhere and no one would bother me. For now, I guess I'll have to make due with a basic meditation. Still, it might help a bit. I've had the shakes in my hands and legs for hours, and can't get them to stop.

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Well, I tried meditation. Although I couldn't tune out the sounds from traffic and people coming through my window, I do feel calmer. I could actually hear my heart beat. I definitely like the meditation I chose. I saw myself strolling through these lush, rolling hills and continued on to a beach, to walk along the water. And it started to rain. It was, without a doubt, a beautiful sight.

However, I could not get the pain in my spine to go away. Normally, when I meditate, if I focus on whatever body part is painful, I can lessen it, tuck some of the pain into the back of my mind, or just focus on unwinding whatever muscles are causing it. I don't know.. maybe I just really fucked up my spine. I didn't know it was this bad. When I was focusing on it, I felt like I was going to pass out because it hurt so badly.

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I can't believe my graduations are this coming saturday and sunday. Why is it that 4 years seem to drag by, while the last month flies by so fast. So nervous.