AH came over on Wednesday. It felt so good to catch up with her. So much has happened since we last saw each other, since we last wrote letters to each other. She listened to my stories as she always does, with an intense interest, always offering her opinion or advice. She always has a kind word for me, and makes me laugh when I'm sad. We talked about her and her boyfriend, and of course, I got all motherly on her when we talked about certain things. I get very protective of my friends, and definitely was concerned for her. I hope she takes my advice. She's not ready for the consequences of her decisions, not yet. Not at such a young age. She's only 23. Anyways, she left to go to work, only to call me less than 30 minutes later saying that she ended up having the day off, and could she please come pick me up so we could hang out some more. So, she came and got me, and we went to her house to make chocolate covered peanut butter balls (fucking amazing, just saying), and I got to see her mom and dad and goof off with her while making a bunch of desserts and we watched a dorky movie and played with her kitty (which I'd never seen before, it's the most adorable thing). We talked about opening up a bakery, since we're both really good at it. Jokingly thought to call it Cooking With Tits, as we'd have to have a cooking/baking show as well. I eventually told her we had to stop talking about it because we'd never get the money to start a business, and I'd have wasted 4 years of college. Not to mention, I definitely don't want to be stuck in my hometown for the rest of my life. It was nice to have a few stress-free hours to let everything go and be myself without having to censor anything I'm thinking or feeling. She gave me a positive spin on the things that have been happening in my life lately, and hopefully that positive outlook will stay with me. We made plans to go to pride this june, which I'm really excited for. So hopefully that works out.
NL came and picked me up on thursday to hang out. I love that her house feels like home to me. Like, as soon as I walk in, her mom always gives me an enormous hug and asks how I'm doing and actually looks happy to see me. It's not like things at my house. I feel comfortable there, and I can be myself there. Do what I want, talk how I want, etc. And her family says they're proud of me when I accomplish something. NL's mom remembered that I graduated this past weekend and she say "Oh my god, congratulations. I'm so excited for you." She didn't grill me on what I was going to do or where I was going. We ended up dying her and NL's hair and they both turned out pretty well, but NL wants to redo hers since it all didn't turn out the same shade. We went to Stella's for lunch. I miss being able to go there whenever I want. We used to go eat there, then run to the tattoo shop to hang out with one of the tattoo artists (who sadly, no longer works there) and he'd paint random scenes, animals, etc on our bodies if the shop was slow, and then we'd run back to Stella's for ice cream or drinks. I'm glad I was able to go there at least once (just in case I don't get to come back at all this summer). I was really sad when I found out that Ya-Ya's isn't there anymore. I used to get all my weird jewelry from there. We went back to NL's and watched part of an Anne Frank movie with her mom, and then I left to come home.
I had to sort through some stuff, since my mom is turning my old room into a storage/pantry room. I found a bunch of stuff I had collected when I went to Europe in 2006. It was fun to look everything over; all the metro stubs, pictures, postcards, etc. Even a travel journal we'd been given to write out our thoughts. It had me cracking up from all the petty shit I'd been worried about and my thoughts about all the stupid drama everyone had going on.
And then I get back to the house today, and there's more problems with the house. I'm legit at the point where I almost don't even want to stay here for the rest of the month. I'm about to just say fuck it and go back home. So sick of this mess. After May 31st, I don't care where I go whether it be staying in this town or going back home, just as long as it's not this apartment. Going from finally being stress-free back to stress.. I'm going to bite my landlord's head off if he comes over here. Just going to keep myself out of the house and busy so I stay as calm as I was when I was home. I won't let this get me down.
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