This week has been neverending, but in a good way.

My entire body is sore, my feet and ankles are a bit swollen, and my spine is in agony, but it's been a good week.

I've been working nonstop, which is the reason for all the pain.

Despite a sharp pain every time I take a step, I'm so grateful to everyone asking me first (before anyone else) to cover their shifts.

They knew I needed them, and they stepped up.

It's funny, but they seem so proud of me for getting everything together, and for the choices I've made since I started working there.

I called my mom yesterday on my break from work (which was only 15 minutes, but hey, shit happens), and she was actually surprised that I remembered.

The only reason I didn't call her in the morning was because I knew I had a 13 hour shift, and I definitely needed to sleep as long as possible in order to deal with that.

What shocked me though, was that she told me she'd talked to my brother earlier that day, and he'd told her that he's proud of me.

I think I've only ever heard my brother say that twice in my lifetime regarding me.

We may talk rarely, but sometimes he makes up for all the fighting we've done in our 22 years as brother and sister by saying stuff like that.

E and I were both on doubles yesterday, and we had a lot of time to talk.

Her boyfriend, who worked as one of the dishwashers at our job, got fired.

And over the stupidest reason.

Someone complained to our boss that he took his cigg breaks with E.

So she fired him.

She also fired one of the cooks, because she found out he was stealing cases of food from our restaurant.

Which is fucked up, but he was such a nice guy and a great cook.

Oh well.

But for right now, EM and I are watching tv.

We were talking earlier about Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, and how my favorite part of the movie, The Proposal, was when she dances with Betty White to Get Low.

What's weird about that?

EM changes the channel, and guess what movie is playing?

The Proposal.

Guess what part it's at?

The dance scene.

Too funny.

Needless to say, I'm in relax mode.

Nothing has been able to get my mood down lately.

And I'm lovin life.

=)

It's sad when..

you lose touch with people who were once one of the most important parts of your life.

You barely speak, and when you do, it's about something vague and non-friendish.

You don't hang out anymore.

Nothing.

It's like you never spent any time together at all.

Which is sad, since you thought that you were close with them.

Drama always has a way of ruining things.

Oh well, it's their choice.

If they don't think you're important enough to be included in their life,

then you shouldn't include them in yours.

I may be a little crazy...

Working 12 shifts in 10 days with only 1 day off, that's not even a real day off..

Fml.

So tired.

Work is kicking my ass.

Thank the Goddess that L and K were working today.

And J. He always makes fun of me, but we're always joking around like that (Besides, we've worked together the past 4 days straight. We gotta pass the time somehow, and it keeps everyone in a good mood).

I so wouldn't have been able to handle working with G alone.

I'm hoping N can work for me Thursday night.

I seriously need a break.

Then maybe I can sleep for a full day and gain some of my energy back.

Good. Fucking. Lord.

I am completely and utterly physically and mentally drained.

Haven't had a break from work, at all.

My only day off is Wednesday, and even then I have a million things to do.

However, the money'll be worth it.

And, hopefully, I'll be able to make enough within the next week or so so that I don't have to move back home.

I need this to work.

Which is making me super stressed out.

But my meds are doing their job, and I haven't had a panic attack in the past few days.

Which is definitely a relief.

One thing at a time, I guess.

I've literally been so tired that I actually passed out at 9:30 the other night.

Yeah, I got sleep for once.

Shocker, right?

Today, work was pretty bad. One of the waitresses makes me on edge, because honestly, she acts like she hates me.

She's always yelling at me and putting me down.

And it makes me mess up, and it's frustrating that I'm making such stupid mistakes because I'm nervous with her judging me all the time.

She legit got in my face today and went off on me.

And it was over something so small.

And I get to do it all over again tomorrow morning.

Joy.

There's a lot of other stuff that's happened lately,

but I don't really feel like putting it all on here.

At least, not yet.

*sigh* Off to bed, I guess.

Let's hope I pass out early again.

Okay, this is seriously getting annoying.

My trackpad on my computer is barely working. Yeah, it moves around fine, but when I try to click on something.. nothing. My fingers hurt because in order for it to work, I have to repeatedly press hard as hell on the trackpad for it to click.

Now, normally I wouldn't mind because I could just stay off the computer for a few days until I have time to take it to get fixed. However, I'm not only trying to do research to come up with interview questions, but school stuff, apartment stuff, and searching for a second job, etc.

And I picked up two extra shifts, so I'm working tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Not to mention, I feel like complete shit. Started my meds last night.. and within an hour, I was so nauseas I could barely stand, let alone climb down from bed (it's lofted and the bottom is about 5 feet in the air). Everything I wanted to do today didn't happen. I'm hoping that it won't be this bad the entire first few weeks. My doctor said it'd last a few weeks, and I can handle that. I just hope that it doesn't start to happen while I'm at work. Not convenient.

On the bright side.. B might be moving to NY. She told me she's been thinking about it for awhile, since she has family living about 30-40 minutes from where I live. I told her I vote YES, because that'd be fucking awesome. And we laughed about her wanting to go to the Snapple Factory as our "first date." She's a huge dork, but that's partially why I like her. She's a good friend. :)

Insomnia..

Insomnia kind of really sucks.

I don't care to be alone with my thoughts right now.

Like, at all.

12:30am break down.

Fucking hell.
Legit sitting here balling my eyes out while watching Skins,
because they have to bury one of their friends.
And it makes me think of KMC.
When is this huge gaping hole in my heart going to mend?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - -
It's an hour later, and I'm still crying.
EM gave me some pain meds that she says will knock me out in like 20 minutes.
That stuff doesn't normally work for me, but I'm guzzling seltzer like it's my job so they dissolve and hoping it makes me fall asleep soon.
My heart physically hurts right now.
I don't want to feel anything, just for one night.
Is that too much to ask?