Confessions.

1. I tear up when I'm extremely frustrated: When I feel frustrated because of things someone is saying or doing, when someone is trying to control me, when someone doesn't back off when they know that something they're doing to me reminds me of something bad from my past, etc, I start to tear up. And if they don't stop, I start crying. But I try to cover it up and not let them see. Usually, I'll excuse myself to go to the bathroom or get up to get my cell phone or a drink from the fridge, etc. All of those are excuses. If that person can't tell that they're frustrating/hurting me, it's not good.

2. I hate when people try to "fix" me. I'm not broken, so shut the fuck up.

3. When someone says, "Come here," and crooks their finger at me in a "get your cute ass over here" motion, and smiles.. I find it incredibly adorable.

4. I'm a sucker for kisses on my forehead.

5. If you see me wearing obnoxiously bright nail polish, it either means that I'm having a fantastic day or that I was having a really shitty day and I painted my nails a bright color in order to make myself smile.

6. My wall came completely down the other day. I'm just waiting for someone to pounce on that fact (as it's an incredible rare occurrence), but nobody's noticed yet.

7. I know that I have some big decisions ahead of me, but I'm not sure what to choose. I've been so confused and worried about it lately. I don't want to choose wrong.

8. "I'm not getting better. I'm getting better at playing it off." -> I've used to be so good at playing it off like everything is great. But now.. my eyes give me away completely.

9. When I all of a sudden stop talking and get really quiet.. I'm either thinking about a million different things or upset. If you can tell which is which, then bless your little heart.

10. If I feel comfortable enough around you to sing in front of you, feel special. I've only been able to do this with like 4 people in my entire life and not turn bright red or stammer or fuck up the words.

11. I'm not sorry that I'm not who you want me to be. And I never will be. I shouldn't have to change for anyone.

12. I hate when people have their friends and family evaluate me. Seriously, if you're going around asking everyone's opinions of me to form your own, then there's a problem. You should know how you view me. Got it? Good.

13. If you see me asleep in the fetal position (as in tightly curled in a tiny ball), something is wrong. I'm either having a nightmare, scared that something bad will happen while I'm sleeping, or can't sleep but am intensely upset. That would be your cue to snuggle next to me and put your arms around me. Trust me, it helps.

That's about it for now, I suppose.

Pc.