It's only Monday and I'm already exhausted.
I had my frat meeting yesterday, and thank you JA for singling another brother and I out so the pledges knew who we were. I was basically attacked with interviews the second the meeting ended, and had to answer in 4 people intervals, until about 20 pledges had finished with their questions (that's about 100 questions total in less than 10 minutes). I did meet a few pledges who I have a lot in common with though, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. Thank the goddess, JB was there, or I would've split some skulls. Venting and catching up with her are the only reason I even bother going to meetings anymore. They're so disorganized and there isn't really a point since we sign up for most of the events through email anyway.
I only wrote 1 paper last night.. my eyes literally would not function, and I ended up passing out around midnight, with my laptop still on and my paper unfinished.
I barely got through my classes today, it's like all my eyes want to do is stay closed.
I still have 2 more papers to do for Biblical Interpretations, and then my makeup work for that will be finished so I can hand it in Wednesday. Although I do have a paper due sometime this next week for that class, too.
Currently in the library, unable to focus on a sociology of culture review sheet that I've only done 1/4 of. Hopefully I can get it together long enough to finish it before I go write letters to veterans with my frat.
After that, there's a NOH8 photoshoot one of the RAs set up, and I already said I would go.
It's not the national campaign, and I'm not sure what's going to happen to the photos, but it sounds like the only thing I'll be doing for fun this week.
Then I have to run home and pull an all night for sociology of culture and child psych.
Over 100 slides per chapter for child psych, 3 chapters for the test, along with about 15 supplemental readings.
Someone give me a caffeine IV drip I can walk around with, please?
Tomorrow, I have both tests, then have to write 3 papers for New Latin American Cinema due on Wednesday.
More class and a quiz and letters to veterans Thursday. NL wanted me to hang out and have a girls night, but I honestly don't think I could drag myself out of bed and to class the next morning.
I think Friday is going to be my only easy day. I have a meeting with my therapist after classes, which will hopefully take a little of the stress of my shoulders. I need one early night, and maybe I can actually get some sleep for once. This whole partial insomnia thing has got to stop.
Apparently, all us seniors are realizing that our perceptions of last semester senior year were completely wrong, and will not be as easy as we had thought.
Okay, now that I'm done being an incredible prat/whiner and complaining, back to schoolwork.
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Sometimes my frat service events actually get me through the day, as much as I complain about the drama and disorganization.
We met up in the LCs and wrote a bunch of letters to soldiers. It was actually a good stress relief because B kept making corny jokes, D was trying to study for our soc of culture exam (and failed miserably), there were drawings of flags and polar bears galore, I got to know one of the pledges, A, a bit better since we hadn't really had the chance to hang out and talk other than her interview, and bullshit about the frat drama and crack jokes.
I ended up not going to the NOH8 photoshoot. There's just too much to do.
I really just need some sleep.
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Sometimes my frat service events actually get me through the day, as much as I complain about the drama and disorganization.
We met up in the LCs and wrote a bunch of letters to soldiers. It was actually a good stress relief because B kept making corny jokes, D was trying to study for our soc of culture exam (and failed miserably), there were drawings of flags and polar bears galore, I got to know one of the pledges, A, a bit better since we hadn't really had the chance to hang out and talk other than her interview, and bullshit about the frat drama and crack jokes.
I ended up not going to the NOH8 photoshoot. There's just too much to do.
I really just need some sleep.
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One of my friends told me that I do this a lot. I disappear into my head because I have so many thoughts zooming around 24/7 that it's hard to focus on what's going on around me. And I feel so guilty that I keep doing this, because it means I zone out or ignore my friends, and I really really am not trying to do that. I'll just be sitting there with a group of friends, talking about school and stuff and all of a sudden I'll just stop talking and gaze at a random spot thinking about 6 other things. And then someone will smack my arm and be like, "Where the hell is your head?" I did it this weekend a few times, too. And although the people I was with didn't notice, I still feel guilty. I should be concentrating on them, but I have so many things to worry about, think about, and decisions to make that I feel like my head is going to explode.
I seriously need to stop being in me head so fucking much. I can't keep zoning out on people. I need to get back into the habit of meditating twice a day. I used to have such a clear, organized focus. Even if I have to get up earlier and go to bed later, I think it'll be worth it.
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