Confession #25

Confession: I finally asked for help, and now I'm really nervous.

_____________________

I called the Counseling Center today.

I made an appointment with a therapist for thursday.

Between everything going on with my ex-girlfriend and K's death, I can't seem to do anything lately.

I need a little bit of extra help.

UNBIASED help.
But I don't really know how to start, or what to say.

I know my friends mean well, but they think they know the situation I'm in and they don't.

Two texts from my ex-girlfriend set me off about 2 hours ago, and I started crying.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.

I want to go back to being happy 24/7, like I used to be.

____________________

Thank goodness for a few select friends who are always there for me. I talked to R for a little bit and he made me smile. I told him I was so fucking angry and hate girls right now because all they do is fuck with my head and he says something kind and then goes, "So, does this mean I have a shot??" Haha. I remember a few months back we were talking and he kept saying I should marry him. I was like, "Sweetheart, I love you. But I'm not attracted to men. And we'd have to have sex if we were married and no offense but ew, haha." And he was like, "No we wouldn't. Nobody that's married has sex anyway. But we could cuddle and be happy." It sounds ridiculous, but his heart is in the right place. And he knows it will make me laugh. That will forever be a running joke with us.

Tonight will be a good night at least. I'm getting everything together to go to the Quad Office to chill with J since she has to work until 11. We're gonna order a pizza (haven't had Pizza Hut in FOREVER), and her boyfriend is gonna stop by later to hang out, too.

Tomorrow is Kegs N Eggs. :) Wake up at 7am, have a drink, go to S's with J and D to have pancakes and Irish Cream with everyone. Then S, J, D, KD and her friend, and a few others are going to continue drinking until we head downtown for the parade.

Then we're coming back to campus for a few hours since J is on duty in the Quad Office from like 6:30-11pm. Then we're going to watch SNL in her room and play Harry Potter drinking games.

Sunday will be spent in bed watching movies and the food network all day.

I cannot wait for this to start. I need a huge level of fun right now.