Confession: 8029.) Please stop giving me the wrong impressions that you might have more feelings for me than you let on. I keep trying to break away from your spell, but I just can't. You occupy my mind 24/7. So please, stop being so nice and flirtatious with me, for I know I will start liking you again. I wonder if you like toying with my feelings. If you really do, I don't know why I ever regarded you as a close friend. You're probably just laughing at my attempts to not like you.
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Seriously, it's not kind, or fair. You fucked with my head for the past two days. Stop telling me you love me if you're just going to go back to your old ways and try to fuck my life up again. I really do care about you, but I've finally admitted to myself that you're incredibly bad for me. This isn't healthy, this fucked up toxic dance we've been doing for the past year. I can't keep giving everything to you when there's no sign that you actually give a shit. I can't keep being the one to try to save you. You have to learn how to save yourself.
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On a brighter note, G was amazing last night (via text of course, cuz there's no way she could magically appear in NY - Although I wish she would). Texting me the whole night to make sure I was okay. Laughing at my drunken debauchery. When I told her I had a really bad panic attack (and then disappeared cuz my cell was on silent and I couldn't concentrate on anything but trying to breathe during the cab ride back to I's dorm room), she was completely there for me when I couldn't stop freaking out. (Which is more than I can say for someone else that I had told last night, aka C).
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