First of all, when you finally see my fucking tattoo, don't you dare call it disgusting. You have no fucking idea as to the reasoning behind it. You have no idea how much the reasons behind it got me through everything the past few years. Those reasons helped me after my best friend killed herself. And for her to talk shit about my reasons for it.. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing to a lot of people, but it means a lot to me and I almost slapped her. Like literally, I raised my hand to smack her and then realized the shit that would start and put my hand down.
Then she starts in on every single thing I do and say. Even the way i sit. Excuse me if my back is in severe pain at the moment and I need to sit in a position that doesn't kill it and that it looks a little awkward. I'm sorry that you feel that its disrespectful. From now on I just won't even try to aleviate the pain. I'll just let it happen.
This is why I can't stand coming home. I can't say anything here, it just leads to an argument. Honestly, I don't love the place I live, but anywhere is better than here. When I'm here, I just revert back to this shell of a human being, I'm nowhere near who I used to be. And if it were up to me, and things were different at this point in my life, I wouldn't come back. Not even to visit.
All I'm thankful for is being able to see one of my friends tomorrow. I would say two of my friends, but my mother may have managed to ruin that, too.
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I got to see EM today. SO fucking happy that she came over. We walked down to the creek and I immediately stripped down to lingerie (all of the clothes and bathing suit, etc that I needed were apparently locked up in my mom's boyfriend's apartment, and since I couldn't get to anything I was like I don't give a fuck) to sunbathe and vent to each other. Now, EM has known me since I was in 8th grade. She knows all about my mom and can definitely see where I'm coming from. It was nice to just have an all out bitch fit and not care about what was being said. Although, now I have weird sunburn patterns on my body lol. Guess I didn't switch sides enough. Ah well.
And my cousin came over to hang out and talk for an hour. We had a mini-heart-to-heart about relationships and then talked about random stuff. It was nice to catch up with her, we don't get to see each other that often.
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And now I'm back at the KC's apartment, and in a much better mood. Basically saying "fuck you" to my mother and everything else that's trying to ruin my good mood. Going to pass out now, work all night tonight, tomorrow morning, then roller derby tomorrow night with JT, and Pride on sunday. Gonna be a busy ass weekend. :)
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