Headache.

My mind hasn't stopped going for the past few hours.

Such a fucking headache.

Hopefully I can fall asleep after I write this.

C contacted me. Apparently she tried to kill herself, twice.

Normally, I would feel like shit and try to console her.

And I never suggest to anyone to ignore someone when they say anything like that.

But.. she's done that so many times before, and I can't tell whether she's lying or not, especially since she texted me that.

Not that I could tell if she was lying in person.

Because she's an extremely great liar.

But when she told me, I didn't feel guilty, I just felt sorry for her.

Like, I don't think even she knows the truth about everything that has happened to her in her life.

I think she just has this warped sense of people and reality.

I don't feel the urge to help her anymore, at all.

I basically just said, "I'm sorry that that happened to you. I hope you get help. But I'm happy now, and I hope you will be too. Goodbye." And she hasn't texted me since.

I couldn't be happier about that right now.

I did talk to my mom today though, and almost had a panic attack after I hung up the phone. I legit couldn't feel my hands. Normally, I have to deal with my panic attacks alone. Thankfully, this time I didn't. And I didn't get as worked up as I normally do, probably because I wasn't by myself.

I don't know what it is, but my mother has the ability to rip my entire life apart and make me want to cry in about 30 seconds.

And everyone wonders why I dislike going home so much.

Oh well, it's something I should be used to by now.

It's kind of sad though.. when you get used to something like that.

Nobody should have to.

However, the past couple days, I've been really happy. It's nice to be able to feel comfortable with someone again. To feel genuinely cared about.

I think it's time for some quick meditation and sleep. Sounds like the perfect combo. (: